


Nine Lives of Lucifer

by Jacksonian



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I hate sad endings, Lucifer is a cat, Michael is a Little Shit, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possessive Lucifer, Post-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-05-13 20:31:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacksonian/pseuds/Jacksonian
Summary: Michael makes a bet with Lucifer that he just can't resist. A side effect is that Lucifer must be a cat for a month. Is it worth it? Will he find his way home? Who will be the new king of Hell?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If someone would be willing to Beta for this story please send me an ask on tumblr: jacksonian-the-writer.tumblr.com
> 
> Hell to Earth time conversions- If 1 min is approx 1 hr, then 24 min :1 day, 1 hr is 2.5 days, 12 hrs :1 month, 6 days: 1 yr  
> A single ~ represents a scene change.

Lucifer sat on his throne in hell, attempting to keep the ash from ruining his hair. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from drifting upward to his family on Earth and what they must be doing. After several hours spent getting the demons back in line and asserting his dominance the rest of his evening had been exceedingly boring. It had been a whole… 4 hours, since he left Chloe in his penthouse. Knowing how much time passed in Hell per second on Earth, she was probably still there. Probably still crying.

Up in Heaven, God watched as his son poured out his heart to the woman he loved and flew down to hell.

“Michael, Raphael, Gabriel!” He called to his archangels. “It appears that Samael has redeemed himself. It would be just to share the burden of his task guarding Hell amongst the available angels so that he may partake in living out his life with his human family.”

“Father, we are not meant to rule Hell. How would something like that work?” Raphael spoke up, not liking where this train of through was about to take them.

“Work it out amongst yourselves, you have until the Earth’s full rotation to decide which of you will take the first shift in place of your brother. I expect you capable of managing this yourselves.” And with that, he left the area and disappeared to work on another mysterious ineffable project.

“I cannot believe this … _crap_. We are good. We do not deserve to rot in that dreadful place.” Raphael spat in disgust.

“Raph, I’ve been watching the humans and it seems like Sam has been doing a lot better since he started going to that therapy thing” said Gabriel, his wings puffing out behind him. Unlike most of his siblings, he hadn’t enjoyed the rebellion and wasn’t a fan of keeping Lucifer locked up in Hell.

“I refused to spend any time in that place,” sneered Raphael.

“Brother, relax. Be reasonable. I’m sure there’s a solution to our problem.” Michael’s sly smile set a cold feeling across Gabriel’s shoulders, but his family had yet to steer him wrong. He nodded along with Michael hoping for the best. “Go Gabriel, make a list of our siblings who may be willing to spend a few days below. Perhaps after the first few show that there is nothing to fear, then we won’t have such a difficult time recruiting others.” He leveled a pointed glare at Raphael and held it until Gabriel was far enough away.

Raphael let his scowl fall and a smile replace it on his face, “so what did you _really_ have in mind Brother mine?”

Michael wrapped a wing around Raphael in a secretive way, sharing something for their ears alone. “We’re going to trick that little weasel Lucifer into keeping the throne for rest of eternity, of his own free will.”

“But brother, how?” Raphael’s eyes were as big as they could go. He knew Michael harbored ill will towards Samael but he had not realized how dark the feeling had turned over the millennia.

“Simple, I make him a deal he can’t refuse. But also, one that he can’t win. He’ll have a little time on Earth and then when he fails to hold his end of the bargain he will be trapped in Hell forever.” Michael’s wings glowed with power and his sight burned with the heat of his rage. He was unaware how much he looked like the Devil in that moment, but it would become clear to others upon retrospection. This was the beginning of dark days for the archangel Michael.

~

In the time it took Michael to fly down to Hell, given the ratio of relative passing of time from the upper reaches of heaven to the lowly palace in Hell, it’s been several Earth hours… which unfortunately translates to a whole month in Hell.

Lucifer was quickly going insane. There was nothing to do but yell at insubordinate demons. There was nothing to eat that wasn’t gruel covered in ash. There wasn’t any good alcohol in Hell. And of course, there weren’t any of his favorite humans, only plenty of the ones that he despised. He did make a stop (we won’t say how many times) to the hell loop of Cain to see flashes of the people he missed most but it felt tainted. Tainted by the harsh reality that he couldn’t interact with any of them. Tainted by the way Chloe collapsed every time she was shot in the chest by Cain. Tainted by his own inability to tell her that he loved her. At some point he realized it hurt more to see the false vision of her than it would to just stay away.

A month of this aggravating boredom and he had decided that if he ever returned to Earth, he’d be happy to do paperwork for the Detective because even that _had_ to be better than this. He was in _HELL_. At least he hadn’t fallen into his loop of stabbing Uriel again. It seemed as though he had worked through that particular guilt trip.

“BROTHER!”

“Oh for Father’s sake! What the bloody fuck are you doing here?” Lucifer snarled as his most hated brother hollered to him from atop  _HIS THRONE_. How dare he?

“I have a proposition for you Sam, if you’ve even got the guts to make a deal with me these days… I heard from Amenadiel you were going soft.” 

“I am **not** soft, now remove your ass from my seat before I force you out of it.” Michael was toying with him and he wasn't happy. It was bad enough he'd had to leave his friends, why couldn't his brother just leave him alone?

“What?" Michael smirked playfully, though arrogantly, “You don’t want me to stay here so you can head north for the summer?”

Lucifer's heart skipped a beat at the mention of his real home. There's no way Michael would take his place while he gallivanted on Earth with his Detective. Michael was just trying to hurt him, he was sure of it. “Don’t play games with me, I’m not in the mood”

"How about I make you a deal?" Michael magicked his deal onto a sheet of paper and twirled it in front of Lucifer's face.

"What kind of deal could you possibly want to make with me? What could I have that you would ever want?" He refused to look at the sheet. It had to be a trick. His brother hadn't been kind to him in eons, why would he change.

"Primarily, I just want to see you humiliated when you lose. But Father also told me to ensure that someone were guarding the gates of Hell at all times. No more free range demons, so to speak. You’ll eventually break and head back to Earth, like the weakling that you are. This could ensure that you won’t leave Hell ever again."

"What’s the deal?" Lucifer couldn't resist the draw.

"You go back to earth for one month, living your life as a stray cat. If you manage to find a home and get adopted you can stay for as long as you like and I’ll manage Hell. If not, if you fail to be housed, adopted, and loved then you return immediately to Hell for the rest of eternity and you tell Father that you are happy here." Michael leaned back, feeling like he'd won his bet already.

"What’s the catch?" Lucifer looked sideways at him, trying to determine the truth but having difficulty. His heart yearned to take the opportunity. And his heart was being very loud this evening.

Michael laughed, "There's no catch. It’s a hard enough task for an LA stray to live on the streets, let alone find a good home. I assume you’ll get jailed or run over before the month’s up." 

Lucifer glared at his brother. Part of him knew it was a dangerous path, and that his brother was up to no good, but he was certain he would have been locked in Hell forever anyway. And here was the chance to find his Detective and stay with her forever. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see her again. He needed to try. What could he lose that he hadn’t lost already?

“Deal brother, one Earth month as a cat, to be decided on the last day of the month whether I’ve found a family. In exchange for the punishment of ruling this accursed place.” He stuck out his hand and Michael smiled widely taking his hand.

“Good. Game on brother. Your month starts now.” Michael snapped his fingers and Lucifer felt himself pulled upward and squished into a cat form.


	2. Chapter 2

Lucifer woke up in a box in a dark alley, his small body shivering. He appeared as a small scrawny black cat. He was grown, so unfortunately, he did not have the advantage of looking like a cute little kitten, but he also wasn’t big enough to really be able to scare any of the other street cats. His asshole brother had put him at as much of a disadvantage as possible when transforming him into a cat. The only positive point was that Lux, the Detective, and the precinct were spread out over LA and it increased his chance of landing somewhere familiar.

 _First, find out where you are, then make a plan for where to go. Okay. Time to climb._ Luci-cat jumped up on a couple of boxes, looking for a way to reach the top of the building. From above he was sure he would be able to get his bearings, he still had eidetic memory after all. His small cat body scrambled up a vine and onto a fire escape. He found it easy to twist this new body into whatever position was needed. About three quarters of the way up the building he stumbled into an old lady staring out her window, smoking a cigarette.

“Here kitty kitty.” The old woman waved a hand to him slowly, luring him closer. He was curious about her but he was also supposed to be on a mission. He turned to continue up the side of the building when she held out a glass of brown liquid toward him. _Maybe a quick drink wouldn’t hurt?_ Lucifer stalked closer to her, showing he was wary and she left the glass on the sill, leaning back to give him some space. He sniffed closer and closer until he recognized the wonderful scent of a twenty-five-year-old scotch.

He could not stop himself; he drank half the glass.

As he was about to finish when he suddenly felt the lady gently grab him around the middle and lift him into her lap. “Soft kitty, you must be new to the streets if you are still so clean.” Now normally he would never have allowed this but somehow the conversion from Fallen Angel to cat must have done something to his abilities because the alcohol was taking quite a toll on his small feline body. A little dizzy, he sat still until he just couldn’t take the cuddling any longer. He let out a sad meow or two before she lifted him back up to the window and let him climb out. Maybe his metabolism was still working but the size of his body was to be considered more heavily when consuming alcohol…

He was able to meander the outcropping of the building for a bit until he got to a fire escape. Lucifer began slinking up the stairs, on the lookout for danger but primarily concerned with how he was supposed to get out of this predicament. He missed his detective. He wanted to go home. But first he needed to get to the roof of this blasted building and get his bearings. _Oh father, why are there soooo many stairs? I should have negotiated to be a faster animal. A bird would have been so much easier._

The heat of the LA sun beat down upon his black coat as he reached the top of the building. The roof was hot on his feet, but it didn’t bother him overly much. He circled the top edge of the building looking out across LA. _It’s beautiful, too bad I need to get a move on. Who knows how long it will take to convince the Detective that this is me. She never believed in my Devilishness, I don’t know how I will convince her I’m a cat._

From the roof he could see the large bank building that was near Lux and from the other corner of the roof he could make out the fancy office buildings of the square near the precinct. Taking a deep breath he weighed his chances. He would definitely be able to find Chloe at the precinct if he could make it there but the likelihood of being captured by the cat police on the way to the human police was quite higher. Lux seemed to always have stray cats meandering the streets, so he was less likely to end up at the shelter but perhaps more likely to be attacked in a dispute over stray cat territory.

Lux employees were softies when it came to strays… maybe they’d feed him. Lux it is then.

He took off at a run doing his best to hop between buildings and climb along beams, making his way across the buildings and slowly descending to the lower levels. Lucifer hid along the walls of buildings making his way down several streets and alleys. He dodged curious fingers of free-range children and hissed at inquisitive dogs. He found a box to sleep in for the night, cushioned with recycled papers and some cardboard. Day one down, he just had to make his goal by the end of the month and he’d be free of his hellish obligations.

Despite not sleeping well, he got up in the morning with his goal clear in his mind. **He would get home**. He had to. Lucifer had almost made it to Lux when he had a run-in with some idiot human on a skateboard. The moron tried to kick him as the skateboard veered past. He ducked… mostly. The corner of his ear tingled with the swipe that had made contact with him and the black hair on his back stood up against his will. The little cretin flipped around on the skateboard and came after him again. It secured his belief that all children were tiny demons (except Beatrice of course).

Lucifer the cat was having none of this violent tomfoolery.

He took off down the street dodging between people’s legs but just a he neared the back entrance to Lux (with the sounds of skateboard wheels echoing in his mind) a huge box fell from the sky and landed on his tail. His poor tail!

He wailed and flailed and clawed the ground, but he was trapped by this infernal crate.

A huge hand clamped down his neck and he suddenly couldn’t move. He froze and his heart was pounding out of his chest. Now he’d never get to the detective.

He felt the crate being lifted off his tail and he tried again valiantly to squirm free of his captor. His tail hurt but it was barely registering in his mind as he bit and clawed at the hands lifting him up.

“Hello little guy” a soft deep voice reverberated through his skull, somehow familiar. “Easy little one, I’m not trying to hurt you.” Lucifer went limp and looked up into the eyes of his most competent bouncer. Finally, someone who could help him! Lucifer meowed piteously and retracted his claws. The bouncer, Joseph, pulled him tight to his chest keeping the claws pinned to his jacket. “Let’s get you taken care of, I can’t leave you out there with the alley cats in this condition.” Lucifer closed his eyes and relaxed into the warmth. Running though the streets of LA had taken a lot out of him, he’d had a long day and he finally felt safe enough to take a small cat nap.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make this a little more Narrator app friendly for those who have difficulty seeing or reading.   
> Also, apologies for the delay, I struggled with writing the final section of this chapter and I still don't like it but it'll have to do.

Joseph carried the cat inside the work room of Lux, keeping it safe in one arm he pulled out some spare towels and created a bed inside of an empty box. The cat was calm now that it was freed and warm but obviously it hadn’t had a good meal in a while. It was a little on the scrawny side. He closed the door behind him and went to the kitchen in search of some scraps.

“Hi Maze, do we have any cans of tuna or maybe a jug of milk around here?”

Maze turned slowly and eyed the bouncer skeptically, “No … why?”

“I’m hungry?” Joseph ducked his head. Maze would see right through him for sure.

“I think Aiden left a sandwich in the fridge, but other than that it’s all peanuts, pretzels, and alcohol around here.” She leaned against the counter trying to figure out what Joseph could be hiding that related to tuna.

“Maybe I’ll just ask Aiden to bring me something…” Joseph slowly walked back out of the kitchen, pulling his phone out to text “Hey man, on your way in to work tonight could you bring some tuna, milk, or cat food? Don’t tell Maze that I found a cat but it’s adorable.”

Text Reply: “No problem dude, I’ll be in around 8 tonight.”

Text Outgoing: “Thx”

Joseph went back to his job of unloading the new inventory and stocking the bar. It was two hours before he thought to check in on the cat but when he did, he was surprised to see it still laying in the box with it’s eyes closed. As he neared it, he started to worry that it had died while he was away. The poor thing was skinny, and it had been so obviously terrified when he grabbed it maybe it had a heart attack.

Just as he reached into the box to poke the cat in the side, the feline flipped around and sunk its claws and teeth into his arm. He stifled a scream and held as still as possible. He released his breath slowly and made eye contact with the cat. Joseph was not much of a cat person but somehow the cat seemed to respect his lack of outrage and slowly removed its teeth from his skin.

He brought his left hand up gently stroked one finger along the back of the cat. He knew that trying to shake his arm or rip the cat off him was only going to result in those claws digging deeper and tearing cuts in his arm. That was hard earned knowledge from his childhood. The best bet was to wait it out and convince the cat to let go. Another few strokes along the cat’s mid back and he could feel the claws retracting and his skin stinging. When finally, the cat released him, he watched as the blood welled up in tiny spots on his arm.

“Damn Cat, that was pretty aggressive. I came in here with offerings and everything. Thought you might be thirsty but I guess you’re out for blood like Maze, right?” Joseph grabbed a nearby bowl and filled it with some water. He always carried a flask of water around while he was working, it made him look cool without actually causing him to become drunk on the job. The cat seemed genuinely interested in the flask and drank up half the bowl immediately before sitting on its haunches and staring intently at him.

“What?”

~

Lucifer woke up in a strange place. The blanket he was on was rough but at least it smelled familiar. He rubbed his face against the course fabric and realized it was a towel. His eyes shot open. He was a cat. _Oh yeah… that happened_. He had the urge to stretch but he could hear something coming towards the room he was in. _Hide or fight? Hide or Fight?_ He opted to fake death and hope that he could get the jump on whatever had captured him.

He waited until he sensed the intruder and then WHAM, fully body cat attack!

And then it hit him. The realization that he had made it to Lux and the memory that Joseph had taken him in. He made eye contact with Joseph and slowly released his teeth. _Oops. Sorry buddy._ Lucifer’s adrenaline was still coursing through his body keeping him tense despite his slow cat brain finally catching up with the rest of his knowledge. He forced himself to release each claw from Joseph as gently as possible. He could feel the tense man beneath him trying to keep calm and a hand at his back trying to sooth him along. The tension in his body finally faded to something a little more reasonable and he let Joseph manipulate him into a more comfortable position. _Really, it’s his own fault for sneaking up on me._

“Damn Cat, that was pretty aggressive. I came in here with offerings and everything. Thought you might be thirsty but I guess you’re out for blood like Maze, right?” Lucifer watched curiously as the man filled a water bowl for him. “Cat, I’m sorry I scared you, but we need to get you out of here before Maze finds you. She’s not fond of me adopting strays.”

The door opened behind him and he whipped his head around. “Oh Aiden, thank god you’re here. I think this guy’s hungry. He just tried to eat my whole arm.”

“Hey babe, I brought you the cat food. Oh, he’s cute, a little scruffy looking but at least he’s letting you hold him.” Aiden leaned in and briefly kissed Joseph’s cheek before slowly reaching a hand out the cat. Lucifer remembered this human well, he had a kind heart but was firm with customers in a no- nonsense way that Lucifer heartily approved of. He let Aiden scratch his chin for a few seconds before purposefully eyeing the bag of food that had been brought in. “Have you named him yet?”

Joseph shook his head as he started looking for another bowl for the cat food. “Nah, wasn’t sure how long he’d stick around. I don’t really want to get too attached.”

“How about we call him Nox? He’s dark in the house of light.” Aiden joked while leaning on the wall watching Joseph.

“The opposite of Lux?”

“More like the complement…”

Lucifer grew bored of listening to his employees talk so he jumped down and started digging food out of the bag that was obviously meant for him.

“Whoa, hold on Nox, let me help you with that,” Joseph said as he slowly reached to open the bag, a little scared of being mauled again.

Lucifer the Cat stared unerringly into his bouncer’s eyes. He was quite good at staring contests in this form and he was going to win. _Wait, what am I winning?_ Aiden took the food and swiftly opened the tuna can and placed it in front of the cat. “Come on babe, let’s leave him alone.”

“How do you even know it’s a ‘he’?”

The door closed before Lucifer could be subjected to more of their conversation and he attacked the tuna can like he hadn’t eaten in a week. It was tough getting used to this new body and metabolism.

~

In another part of the city, Chloe was working very hard at her desk. Unfortunately, it wasn’t paperwork that had her occupied. “Monkey, I need you to tell me the truth. Where did you put the car keys?”

“I want to know what happened to Lucifer.” The child was standing in front of her, arms crossed, knees locked, glaring her most Maze-like glare.

“I told you Trixie, he had to go back to his old job,” she sighed knowing this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation.

“Why? Lucifer’s rich, he doesn’t need to have a job at all.” She bounced on her toes trying to look big and bossy like Maze did.  

Chloe leaned in trying to impart the seriousness of the situation to her upset daughter, “He had to go take care of some things that no one else could do.”

“So when is he coming back?” Trixie wasn’t giving her any choice but the truth.

Chloe took a deep breath, it was hard for her to say out loud, but she had to be honest, “He’s not coming back Monkey.”

“Can I call him? I want to talk to Lucifer.”

Chloe wasn’t going to be able to keep this conversation up, she had enough trouble dealing with the situation herself, the nitpicking of her child was not helping. Especially since all Trixie’s comments were echoing her own desires. “I’m sorry Monkey, he doesn’t have cell phone reception back there.”

“Where’d he go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore okay?”

“Mom…”

“Yes?” She sighed in exasperation as she made eye contact with Trixie once again, slightly taken aback at the suddenly very serious look in her child’s eyes.

“… Did Lucifer have to go back to hell?” Trix whispered.

“What?” Chloe felt blindsided.

“He had to go back to being the King of Hell?” The tiny body in front of her lost all enthusiasm as Trixie came to realize the truth. Chloe couldn’t help but pull her in for a hug and kiss the top of her head.

“… Yes.”

“That makes sense, but I wish someone else could do it for a while. He’s been in charge down there forever and he never gets vacation time” Trixie whined into her mom’s shirt.

“You’re okay with him being the Devil?” Chloe rubbed a hand along Trixie’s back, she was taking the news really well, all things considered.

“Of course, … it’s Lucifer. He’s our friend. Thanks for telling me Mom, I know it’s hard that he’s not here but I’m glad he’s not on vacation without us.” Trixie pulled out the car keys from behind the monitor stand and handed them over. Chloe cleaned up her desk and headed home with Trixie, wondering all the while how Lucifer was doing and if she’d ever see him again, even briefly.


End file.
